Like many young women, I was excited to be in love and marry the man of my dreams. What began as what I thought would be a wonderful family life with love, respect and consideration rapidly became otherwise. For years, manipulation, abuse, and disrespect of my body, mind, and spirit were a daily occurrence.
My husband was quick to anger and violence . . . and I was scared. He seemed to have some twisted pleasure of doling out pain as if to prove his dominance and superiority. Yet, in between such episodes, he exuded such charm and charisma! I was so confused. What am I supposed to do? I loved him.
As the years went by, my love for him died a slow death. I often wrestled with conflicting emotions when he was late coming home at night. One moment I worried about him, but the next moment I fantasized him arrested or dead so that I might be free of him.
During those years I experienced so many things physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. What was wrong with me? Why didn't he love me? Wasn't I good enough? I wanted to shrivel up and die. Finally, lost, broken, and emotionally beaten, all love was gone. I had become the shell of the woman I once was having lived in fear and pain for so long. After 12 years, it was time to leave. Truly, it was way past time.
I left him . . . I finally left him . . . and I was free! Slowly, I began to heal. Once I began to see that I was worthy of love, most especially from myself, I knew I would survive this experience.
These important years of my life taught me to become the passionate, empowered, joy-filled woman I was always meant to be! And now I offer others an avenue to help them find their way, too. With love, compassion, and understanding, I walk along side women as they journey toward their own freedom and transformation from whatever oppression they experienced!